Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.
The Indian man said to the American, 'You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.' We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love... I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.'
The American said, talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.
I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. 'After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.
Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife’s my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson..
And you say you have family problems...
The Indian fainted…
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Do you know how great people would catch lion with their skills rather then using their strength. Here are some funny examples.
Newton ’s Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.
Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.
Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.
Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it’s sleeping !
Manirathnam Method (director):
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark
room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears.
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.
Karan Johar Method (director):
Send a lioness into the forest.
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.
You don’t understand right… ok….read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!
Yash Chopra method (director):
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.
Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!
Rahul Dravid s method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.
U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Lion tired and surrenders
Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
Newton ’s Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.
Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.
Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.
Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it’s sleeping !
Manirathnam Method (director):
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark
room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears.
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.
Karan Johar Method (director):
Send a lioness into the forest.
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.
You don’t understand right… ok….read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!
Yash Chopra method (director):
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.
Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!
Rahul Dravid s method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.
U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Lion tired and surrenders
Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
LEE...BRUCE....LEE...ILEE.....
♪♪....Lee Lee...Bruce....Lee Lee...♪♪
1. Favorite vegetable
* Mu Lee
2. Favourite Lunch
* Tha Lee
3. What happens to the theatre once
a Bruce Lee movie is over?
* Kha Lee
4. Bruce Lee“s sister-in-law“s name?
* Saa Lee
5. Favorite Breakfast
* Id Lee
6. Favourite festival
* Diwa Lee
7. Favorite Actress
* Sona Lee
8. Favorite Music
* Qawa Lee
9. Most interesting job?
* Coo Lee
10. When did Bruce Lee die?
* Fina Lee
11. How did Bruce Lee die?
* With a Go Lee
12. Favorite hill station
* Kulu Mana Lee
13. Nick name?
* Mawa Lee
14. Favori te Hindi movie?
* Gharwa Lee Baharwa Lee
15. Favourite cricketer?
* Saurav Gangu Lee
16. Favourite Pet
* Bil Lee
17. Favourite Passtime
* Khuj Lee
18. Bathing Place
* Na Lee
.
.
.
.
.
.
Maaro
* Taa LEE
urs...
Lee..ttle Hearts...
1. Favorite vegetable
* Mu Lee
2. Favourite Lunch
* Tha Lee
3. What happens to the theatre once
a Bruce Lee movie is over?
* Kha Lee
4. Bruce Lee“s sister-in-law“s name?
* Saa Lee
5. Favorite Breakfast
* Id Lee
6. Favourite festival
* Diwa Lee
7. Favorite Actress
* Sona Lee
8. Favorite Music
* Qawa Lee
9. Most interesting job?
* Coo Lee
10. When did Bruce Lee die?
* Fina Lee
11. How did Bruce Lee die?
* With a Go Lee
12. Favorite hill station
* Kulu Mana Lee
13. Nick name?
* Mawa Lee
14. Favori te Hindi movie?
* Gharwa Lee Baharwa Lee
15. Favourite cricketer?
* Saurav Gangu Lee
16. Favourite Pet
* Bil Lee
17. Favourite Passtime
* Khuj Lee
18. Bathing Place
* Na Lee
.
.
.
.
.
.
Maaro
* Taa LEE
urs...
Lee..ttle Hearts...
TIPS to improve self confidence
Here are some quick tips to improve your Self Confidence. If we are committed to have a healthy self confidence there are many things you can do every day to boost your self confidence, each small steps that will help you to reach your goal. The good news is that self-esteem is not fixed and can be improved, try some of the steps below to boost your confidence and self-esteem.
1) Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.
2) Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.
3) Exercise and eat healthy. Exercise raises adrenaline and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.
4) Turn feelings of envy or jealousy into a desire to achieve. Stop wanting what others have just because they have it; seek things simply because you want them, whether anybody else has them or not.
5) When you're feeling superbly insecure, write down a list of things that are good about you. Then read the list back. You'd be surprised at what you can come up with.
6) Don't be afraid to push yourself a bit - a little bit of pressure can actually show just how good you are!
7) You can try taking a martial arts or fitness class/course (or both). This will help build confidence and strength.
8) Invest in some new clothing and donate some of your old clothing to send a message to yourself that you both look sharp and feel sharp.
9) Try to make yourself talk positively at all times. When you hear yourself saying you can't do something, stop and say you can. Unless you try, you will never know whether you are able to or not.
10) Don't get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points; they can contrast your good points or even give you something to improve. There's no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.
11) Don't confuse what you have with who you are. People degrade their self worth when comparing possessions.
12) Surround yourself with nurturing friends, not overly critical individuals who make you feel inadequate or insecure. This could do great harm and damage to your self CONFIDENCE
1) Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.
2) Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.
3) Exercise and eat healthy. Exercise raises adrenaline and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.
4) Turn feelings of envy or jealousy into a desire to achieve. Stop wanting what others have just because they have it; seek things simply because you want them, whether anybody else has them or not.
5) When you're feeling superbly insecure, write down a list of things that are good about you. Then read the list back. You'd be surprised at what you can come up with.
6) Don't be afraid to push yourself a bit - a little bit of pressure can actually show just how good you are!
7) You can try taking a martial arts or fitness class/course (or both). This will help build confidence and strength.
8) Invest in some new clothing and donate some of your old clothing to send a message to yourself that you both look sharp and feel sharp.
9) Try to make yourself talk positively at all times. When you hear yourself saying you can't do something, stop and say you can. Unless you try, you will never know whether you are able to or not.
10) Don't get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points; they can contrast your good points or even give you something to improve. There's no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.
11) Don't confuse what you have with who you are. People degrade their self worth when comparing possessions.
12) Surround yourself with nurturing friends, not overly critical individuals who make you feel inadequate or insecure. This could do great harm and damage to your self CONFIDENCE
cowboy marketing...
This situation occurs when the marketer values its own interest over those of its client. Smart investors should not pay attention to spam emails and/or the stocks they promote. Buying these stocks will more often than not result in losing money because once the stock's price rises, the unscrupulous parties involved will cash out, causing it to plummet and leaving legitimate investors with losses.
game theory..
Game theory attempts to look at the relationships between participants in a particular model and predict their optimal decisions. One frequently cited example of game theory is the prisoner's dilemma.
Suppose there are two brokers accused of fraudulent trading activities: Dave and Henry. Both Dave and Henry are being interrogated separately and do not know what the other is saying. Both brokers want to minimize the amount of time spent in jail and here lies the dilemma. The sentences vary as follows:
1) If Dave pleads not guilty and Henry confesses, Henry will receive the minimum sentence of one year, and Dave will have to stay in jail for the maximum sentence of five years.
2) If nobody makes any implications they will both receive a sentence of two years.
3) If both decide to plead guilty and implicate their partner, they will both receive a sentence of three years.
4) If Henry pleads not guilty and Dave confesses, Dave will receive the minimum sentence of one year, and Henry will have to stay in jail for the maximum five years.
Obviously, pleading guilty is the most attractive should the other plead not guilty since the sentence is only one year. However, if the other party also chooses to plead guilty, both will have to serve three years. On the other hand, if both parties plead not guilty, they'd have to serve two years in jail. Consequently, the risk of pleading not guilty is a five-year sentence, should the other choose to confess.
Suppose there are two brokers accused of fraudulent trading activities: Dave and Henry. Both Dave and Henry are being interrogated separately and do not know what the other is saying. Both brokers want to minimize the amount of time spent in jail and here lies the dilemma. The sentences vary as follows:
1) If Dave pleads not guilty and Henry confesses, Henry will receive the minimum sentence of one year, and Dave will have to stay in jail for the maximum sentence of five years.
2) If nobody makes any implications they will both receive a sentence of two years.
3) If both decide to plead guilty and implicate their partner, they will both receive a sentence of three years.
4) If Henry pleads not guilty and Dave confesses, Dave will receive the minimum sentence of one year, and Henry will have to stay in jail for the maximum five years.
Obviously, pleading guilty is the most attractive should the other plead not guilty since the sentence is only one year. However, if the other party also chooses to plead guilty, both will have to serve three years. On the other hand, if both parties plead not guilty, they'd have to serve two years in jail. Consequently, the risk of pleading not guilty is a five-year sentence, should the other choose to confess.
Market Segmentation Theory
Also called the "Segmented Markets Theory", this idea states that most investors have set preferences regarding the length of maturities that they will invest in. Market segmentation theory maintains that the buyers and sellers in each of the different maturity lengths cannot be easily substituted for each other. An offshoot to this theory is that if an investor chooses to invest outside their term of preference, they must be compensated for taking on that additional risk. This is known as the Preferred Habitat Theory.
What is market cannibalization?
Market cannibalism is defined as the negative impact a company's new product has on the sales performance of existing products. This is best illustrated by the "Cola Wars" - the marketing fight between Pepsi (NYSE:PEP) and Coca-Cola (NYSE:COKE), which lasted most of the 1970s and 1980s. The soft drink rivalry pushed Coca-Cola Co. to make one of the most famous marketing blunders in financial history. In the process of creating Diet Coke, the company's chemists discovered a new formulation for Coke. The new concoction was sweeter and smoother than the century-old formula upon which Coke had been built. In fact, it was similar to Pepsi - the drink that was eating away at Coke's domestic market share.
On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola Co. announced that New Coke was on its way. Because of a strong preference for New Coke in consumer taste tests, Coca-Cola decided to pull the old Coke formula from the shelves. Essentially, the company was throwing away a century of branding by favoring the new, relatively unknown formula over the one that consumers had grown up with. For Coca-Cola executives, this made sense. Much like with software companies that pull old versions from the shelf when a new one is released, they didn't want their old product line to keep consumers from buying their new one. Unfortunately, this bold move backfired horribly.
Consumers rebelled and flooded Coca-Cola with angry letters and phone calls. Coke's stock and market share took multiple hits and Pepsi even proclaimed victory in the Cola Wars now that Coca-Cola had copied its taste. The influx of complaints led to a "We've heard you" marketing reverse. On July 11, 1985, mere months after its sudden exit, the old formula was re-introduced with "Classic" added to the title - probably better than "Old Coke". Coca-Cola Classic quickly ate up the sales of New Coke in a textbook case of market cannibalization, but the company's stock did recover for the most part. The marketing blunder may not have been as much of a disaster as it appears. The controversy and media attention attracted some fence-sitting consumers back to the Coca-Cola brand.
Nevertheless, the saga of New Coke turned off many investors and resulted in Coca-Cola becoming an undervalued wallflower that nobody wanted to touch. Due to the strong international presence of Coke, however, investing sage Warren Buffet started buying significant amounts of Coca-Cola stock in the late '80s, which proved to be one of his most profitable buys. Despite its flirtation with a branding disaster and market cannibalization, Coke remains one of the world's strongest brands and a stalwart company to boot.
On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola Co. announced that New Coke was on its way. Because of a strong preference for New Coke in consumer taste tests, Coca-Cola decided to pull the old Coke formula from the shelves. Essentially, the company was throwing away a century of branding by favoring the new, relatively unknown formula over the one that consumers had grown up with. For Coca-Cola executives, this made sense. Much like with software companies that pull old versions from the shelf when a new one is released, they didn't want their old product line to keep consumers from buying their new one. Unfortunately, this bold move backfired horribly.
Consumers rebelled and flooded Coca-Cola with angry letters and phone calls. Coke's stock and market share took multiple hits and Pepsi even proclaimed victory in the Cola Wars now that Coca-Cola had copied its taste. The influx of complaints led to a "We've heard you" marketing reverse. On July 11, 1985, mere months after its sudden exit, the old formula was re-introduced with "Classic" added to the title - probably better than "Old Coke". Coca-Cola Classic quickly ate up the sales of New Coke in a textbook case of market cannibalization, but the company's stock did recover for the most part. The marketing blunder may not have been as much of a disaster as it appears. The controversy and media attention attracted some fence-sitting consumers back to the Coca-Cola brand.
Nevertheless, the saga of New Coke turned off many investors and resulted in Coca-Cola becoming an undervalued wallflower that nobody wanted to touch. Due to the strong international presence of Coke, however, investing sage Warren Buffet started buying significant amounts of Coca-Cola stock in the late '80s, which proved to be one of his most profitable buys. Despite its flirtation with a branding disaster and market cannibalization, Coke remains one of the world's strongest brands and a stalwart company to boot.
What is market cannibalization?
Market cannibalism is defined as the negative impact a company's new product has on the sales performance of existing products. This is best illustrated by the "Cola Wars" - the marketing fight between Pepsi (NYSE:PEP) and Coca-Cola (NYSE:COKE), which lasted most of the 1970s and 1980s. The soft drink rivalry pushed Coca-Cola Co. to make one of the most famous marketing blunders in financial history. In the process of creating Diet Coke, the company's chemists discovered a new formulation for Coke. The new concoction was sweeter and smoother than the century-old formula upon which Coke had been built. In fact, it was similar to Pepsi - the drink that was eating away at Coke's domestic market share.
On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola Co. announced that New Coke was on its way. Because of a strong preference for New Coke in consumer taste tests, Coca-Cola decided to pull the old Coke formula from the shelves. Essentially, the company was throwing away a century of branding by favoring the new, relatively unknown formula over the one that consumers had grown up with. For Coca-Cola executives, this made sense. Much like with software companies that pull old versions from the shelf when a new one is released, they didn't want their old product line to keep consumers from buying their new one. Unfortunately, this bold move backfired horribly.
Consumers rebelled and flooded Coca-Cola with angry letters and phone calls. Coke's stock and market share took multiple hits and Pepsi even proclaimed victory in the Cola Wars now that Coca-Cola had copied its taste. The influx of complaints led to a "We've heard you" marketing reverse. On July 11, 1985, mere months after its sudden exit, the old formula was re-introduced with "Classic" added to the title - probably better than "Old Coke". Coca-Cola Classic quickly ate up the sales of New Coke in a textbook case of market cannibalization, but the company's stock did recover for the most part. The marketing blunder may not have been as much of a disaster as it appears. The controversy and media attention attracted some fence-sitting consumers back to the Coca-Cola brand.
Nevertheless, the saga of New Coke turned off many investors and resulted in Coca-Cola becoming an undervalued wallflower that nobody wanted to touch. Due to the strong international presence of Coke, however, investing sage Warren Buffet started buying significant amounts of Coca-Cola stock in the late '80s, which proved to be one of his most profitable buys. Despite its flirtation with a branding disaster and market cannibalization, Coke remains one of the world's strongest brands and a stalwart company to boot.
On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola Co. announced that New Coke was on its way. Because of a strong preference for New Coke in consumer taste tests, Coca-Cola decided to pull the old Coke formula from the shelves. Essentially, the company was throwing away a century of branding by favoring the new, relatively unknown formula over the one that consumers had grown up with. For Coca-Cola executives, this made sense. Much like with software companies that pull old versions from the shelf when a new one is released, they didn't want their old product line to keep consumers from buying their new one. Unfortunately, this bold move backfired horribly.
Consumers rebelled and flooded Coca-Cola with angry letters and phone calls. Coke's stock and market share took multiple hits and Pepsi even proclaimed victory in the Cola Wars now that Coca-Cola had copied its taste. The influx of complaints led to a "We've heard you" marketing reverse. On July 11, 1985, mere months after its sudden exit, the old formula was re-introduced with "Classic" added to the title - probably better than "Old Coke". Coca-Cola Classic quickly ate up the sales of New Coke in a textbook case of market cannibalization, but the company's stock did recover for the most part. The marketing blunder may not have been as much of a disaster as it appears. The controversy and media attention attracted some fence-sitting consumers back to the Coca-Cola brand.
Nevertheless, the saga of New Coke turned off many investors and resulted in Coca-Cola becoming an undervalued wallflower that nobody wanted to touch. Due to the strong international presence of Coke, however, investing sage Warren Buffet started buying significant amounts of Coca-Cola stock in the late '80s, which proved to be one of his most profitable buys. Despite its flirtation with a branding disaster and market cannibalization, Coke remains one of the world's strongest brands and a stalwart company to boot.
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